Ok so I need to be really honest and transparent with you...
We absolutely suck at marketing.
We suck at selling ourselves, and we suck at the nitty-gritty business stuff that everyone says you need to be good at to survive. But alas! We are still afloat almost 8 years in.
Why?
Because we ARE good at what we do.
And for even more transparency...
I downloaded a sales script to follow to write this sales page.
Apparently, it's a proven format. And judging by its promises, you're going to reach the end of this and sign up without any hesitation 🤷♀️ (but honestly, for both our benefits we kinda hope you do).
So, let's get started. First off, it's telling me to welcome you, pinpoint a problem, and make a promise. Alright then, here we go...
Welcome!
👉🏽 Do you feel like you don't have a deep understanding of why different training and nutrition methods work, and how to determine which one is best suited to your client?
👉🏽 Does not having a deeper understanding of anatomy and biochem leave you applying the same methods to all your clients, and wondering why it works for some, and not for others?
Well, I promise you that we can teach you all you need to know to become an elite & knowledgeable Coach that gets your clients the results they want and deserve, and best of all, we will do it for cheap (I've been advised not to use the word the cheap, so I should clarify – cheap in price, high in value).
Now apparently the next step is to tell you who we are in few short sentences. (Maybe this is why we're so bad at marketing, we don't do short well).
But first I'm going to break the script.
Because honestly – it's 14 pages long (absurd) and I'm not sure I can be entertaining enough to keep you here for that long.
Plus, if you're anything like me, you just want to cut straight to the chase. So here it is:
It includes the following educational videos:
- Stress & Metabolic Syndrome
- Structural Balance
- Metabolic Syndrome
- Nutrition (A collection of short videos)
- Obesity and Fat Loss
- Biomechanics: Understanding movement
- Fat Loss & Hypertrophy (average client)
- Biomechanics: Lever Systems in the Body
- Muscle structure & function
- Muscle Fibres
- Mental Fatigue & Training
- Periodisation & 12-week shred
- Backloaded Structural Balance & Mobility
- Mitochondria
- Hypertension & Exercise, Industry Misconceptions
- Passive & Active Flexibility
- Mitochondria II
- German Body Comp
- Volleyball Prep, Tissue re-education
- Eccentric Training
- Backloaded Structural Balance: Mechanisms
- How to build a race car
- How to build a race car – The engine (I & II)
- How to build a race car – Forging the Engine
- Structural Balance
- Metabolic Syndrome
- Nutrition (A collection of short videos)
- Obesity and Fat Loss
- Biomechanics: Understanding movement
- Fat Loss & Hypertrophy (average client)
- Biomechanics: Lever Systems in the Body
- Muscle structure & function
- Muscle Fibres
- Mental Fatigue & Training
- Periodisation & 12-week shred
- Backloaded Structural Balance & Mobility
- Mitochondria
- Hypertension & Exercise, Industry Misconceptions
- Passive & Active Flexibility
- Mitochondria II
- German Body Comp
- Volleyball Prep, Tissue re-education
- Eccentric Training
- Backloaded Structural Balance: Mechanisms
- How to build a race car
- How to build a race car – The engine (I & II)
- How to build a race car – Forging the Engine
- Snatch Deficit Deadlifts & Posterior Chain
- Lessons from Business with Zoe Knight
- The Coaching Alliance with Psychologist Grace Britton
- Cystatin C
- How movement is key to alleviating chronic pain with Dr. Arianne
- Bioenergetics - A Basic Overview
- Female Fertility Considerations
- Lymphatics
- Stress & Digestion
- Intro to hip anatomy
- Conditioning Metrics & Assessments
- Aerobic conditioning
- Deadlift programming (A case study)
- Gut lining & 'Leaky gut'
- Weight lifting session
- Hollow Hold Series
- Lower Cross Syndrome
- Tonic vs Phasic
- Carbohydrate Continuum
- Volume, Frequency, and Intensity
- Working Model of the Shoulder
- Shoulder Extension
- Self-sabotaging Clients & Trauma
- Training Volume
- Split Squat
- Online Training Onboarding Process
- Protein Leverage
- High Reps vs. Low Reps
- Optimising Nervous System Regulation with Dr. Arianne Missimer
- Perimenopause & Menopause with Dr. Arianne Missimer
- Protein Leverage - A Case Study
- Airway Function and its Impact on Core Stability, Recovery, and Performance with Dr. Arianne
- Intro to hip anatomy
- Conditioning Metrics & Assessments
- Aerobic conditioning
- Deadlift programming (A case study)
- Gut lining & 'Leaky gut'
- Weight lifting session
- Hollow Hold Series
- Lower Cross Syndrome
- Tonic vs Phasic
- Carbohydrate Continuum
- Volume, Frequency, and Intensity
- Working Model of the Shoulder
- Shoulder Extension
- Self-sabotaging Clients & Trauma
- Training Volume
- Split Squat
- Online Training Onboarding Process
- Protein Leverage
- High Reps vs. Low Reps
- Optimising Nervous System Regulation with Dr. Arianne Missimer
- Perimenopause & Menopause with Dr. Arianne Missimer
- Protein Leverage - A Case Study
- Airway Function and its Impact on Core Stability, Recovery, and Performance with Dr. Arianne
- Hashimotos with Dr. Arianne
- Optimising Gut-Brain Health with Dr. Arianne
- Romanian Deadlift Index with Max Hogan
- Why Don't People Do What They Say They Will? With Psychologist Grace Britton
- Nervous System Healing
- Self in the System (Psychology of Coaches)
And 2x videos being added per month. All of this for USD$97.00 a month. No contracts, because F that.
And if you want to know more details (and score yourself a free sales script), then keep reading.
Alright, back to the introduction.
We are Luke & Zoe, the Founders of Muscle Nerds.
Luke (specifically) has spent the last 2+ decades (yes, decades, not years) educating and mentoring thousands of industry professionals. He has guided them to become elite level trainers and improved their coaching abilities and client outcomes. Honestly, dude's a fucking wizard.
Then there's Max. You'll see him around – he's Wizard Junior. Too smart for his own good (much like Luke), with a lot he can teach you and a mind wiser than his years.
So, what unrivalled offers can we make that no one else can?
2 main things:
- An unbiased perspective. We understand that every single training method, nutrition plan, and lifestyle recommendation has pros and cons. So, every tool should be learned, understood, and saved to be used with the right person, at the right time, for the right reason; and
- Application of knowledge. Remember learning the Kreb Cycle at university but having no idea how the heck it is relevant to you coaching your client? Well, we got you. We'll teach you what's important to know and how to apply that knowledge. We'll arm you with an incredible ability to troubleshoot and come up with solutions to problems your clients will present you with.
As well as Luke, Zoe, and Max, there's our dogs Daisy, Frank, and Pablo. But you won't see too much of them because they don't have opposable thumbs and can't talk. So there isn't a lot they can contribute in that regard. However, they will pop up in the videos from time to time, I have no doubt.
Next up, I need to tell you how much we respect your time (plot-twist - we actually do though) and tell you who this subscription service isn't for. And honestly, it looks like reverse psychology to me. So, I'll play into it, because it is a "proven" sales script after all.
Cerebro is NOT for you if:
- You DON'T believe that there is always room for improvement in knowledge and execution
- You DON'T give a shit about your clients
- You CAN'T put aside 2-6 hours a month to watch the video content
- You DON'T own a computer, mobile device, or do not have access to internet (would just make it a bit hard as it's an online subscription you see)
- You're still reading solely because you want to learn the sales script
So with that all said...
Cerebro would be PERFECT for you if:
- You are an inquisitive coach (which you totally are) who has a hunger to learn the why behind things
- You don't have the resources to hire a one-on-one industry mentor, but you still want access to quality, in-depth, and easy to understand and apply education
- You feel in alignment with someone who passionately uses swear words alongside really technical terms, like gluconeogenesis and superoxide dismutase
- You want to grow your business by being really F'n good at your craft
- You want to foster your growth as a coach by being included in a community of industry peers who strive for improvement, self-development, and high standards
Now the script is telling me to introduce the product, but I jumped the gun with that for the no-nonsense people who just wanted to know the what and how much.
But let me explain things a little more for those of you who want to know exactly what you're signing up for.
Each month, 2 videos will be added to the content library – one following a set curriculum, and one being 'The People's Choice'. You will have input (and be able to request) which topic of the curriculum you want Luke to cover, as well as put forward any topics you want to learn about or questions you want answered.
You can download a list of Curriculum topics here:
Download Curriculum List
I already mentioned the price above, but in case you missed it, it's USD$97.00 per month, with no lock in contracts. At this point, the script has gone right out the window because there are 4 pages of 'price anchoring', and 'price reductions' and 'stacking values', and to be frank, I honestly think most intelligent people (a.k.a. you) see straight through those anyway.
But to put it into perspective, the cost to learn this information one-on-one with Luke is $10,000. And Cerebro gives you the opportunity to learn it straight from the horse's mouth, for a tiny fraction of that cost. (Hey look, I guess I'm following the script more than I'd like to admit).
But, I am going to cut this short, remove about 5 pages of fluff, and just leave you with this:
If you sign up, I guarantee you will improve your service ability, improve your clients' results, improve client retention, and improve word of mouth referrals. Because we are living proof that you can build a successful business by excelling at your skill set.
A quote we live by here at Muscle Nerds thanks to Luke:
"You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want." - Zig Ziglar
Let us teach you how to help.